Dr. Jane’s Compatibility Meter… What Good Is It?

For years, I have written about the primary factors of long-term relationship satisfaction; Love, Loyalty and Shared Family Values. When my husband decided to convert my research on marital satisfaction into an App, I blissfully believed that my work was done. But upon publishing the App and describing its capability, we noticed that many couples looked on Dr. Jane’s Compatibility Meter as some sort of test. Often they asked “why do I need that, I’m already married” or “we’re happy; we don’t need that”. Their reactions suggested an underlying concern that the last thing these couples wanted to do was to “rock the boat!” Dr. Jane’s Compatibility Meter seemed to touch a nerve we did not mean to hit. The fact is that The Compatibility Meter is less about determining compatibility and more about increasing compatibility. Simply put, these questions offer a forum for couples to engage in meaningful conversation. When couples first meet, they usually spend a great deal of time talking. They talk about their histories, their likes, and dislikes. As they open up, share their deepest feelings, and hopefully feel accepted for who and how they are, love blossoms. We become increasingly attached to others the more we let them into our private thoughts and feelings. The Compatibility Meter simply offers up topics for couples who want to deepen their communication and their feelings for each other. Sometimes it’s difficult to know how to move from superficial to more meaningful topics for conversation. For those who are dating, it helps to know which questions they should be asking of this new love. For those who are cohabiting and considering marriage, these topics could very well help with the decision-making moving forward. For those who are married, it’s healthy to stay synchronized with your spouse so the two of you can stay on the same page and not go too far off-track as the year tick off. Dr. Jane’s Compatibility Meter is a relationship game that is based on legitimate research. Playing this game can lead to important conversations, new excitement as we learn new things about each other, and presents an opportunity to grow closer. Often the laughs and giggles that come with pillow-talk increase. After all, talking with your partner should be fun and meaningful! Shouldn’t...

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