Ray Rice: A letter to those who hurt the ones they love

dr-jane-rosen-grandon-small.jpWhile the Ray Rice NFL scandal has sent a shock wave through America, too many people will watch the news wondering if one day, they too will be exposed for their cruelty to others – spouse abuse. While the sports and entertainment industries glamorize violence, it is not okay to harm the people around you!

From the time we are born, each one of us strives to control ourselves. In school and at home, we learn how to control ourselves by maintaining important boundaries. Our human charge is to maintain self-control — Not “other-control“. Those who hurt the ones they love, seek to control others because they feel out of control themselves.

If you batter, abuse, punish or dominate another person, you are not just hurting one person. You are hurting an entire community. Realize that the pain you cause affects children, parents, friends, employers, co-workers, neighbors and in the case of Ray Rice, he has caused pain to the NFL and the entire country.

You don’t have to feel out of control. Thousands of mental health professionals are trained to help break the cycle of abuse. Help yourself become more lovable. Self-control is a beautiful thing.